A GOLDEN week for comedy. Trump back and causing chaos with every breath, gasps with every stroke of his big black marker, made for riveting, jaw-dropping viewing.
Here, our new “nod and a wink” government, propped up by the Lowry quilt of “Regional Independents”, had us in stitches too.
And angry to boot.
Out of one side of their mouth, a farcical demand from those government-supporting Independents to sit on the opposition benches and get speaking rights like those who actually oppose the government.
A joke, two fingers to the Dail and the people of Ireland. And the arrogance of Simon Harris and Micheal Martin thinking they’d get away with it. Breathtaking.
Dribbling out the other side of their gob, the new Government then proposed a TWO-WEEK holiday after electing the taoiseach, which they couldn’t even do on Wednesday without Parliament descending into chaos, a veritable theatre of the absurd.
What a bunch of amateurs. Five years of continued farce in the long grass.
Remember, here’s the new government’s full plate: an extraordinary housing crisis; a health service perpetually on its knees; tens of thousands without proper disability care; small businesses going bust to beat the band; far right forces across the globe marching together and threatening democracy just as it did in the 1930s; Trump vowing to begin a trade war on us; a rapidly unfolding climate change catastrophe; a cost of living crisis that is WORSENING; Russia more menacing than ever . . .
Just a few of the huge issues this new government has to get to grips with from day one. Which should have been yesterday, immediately after Micheal Martin was eventually handed the taoiseach’s baton.
Instead, what happened?
Well, they decided to swan off on their holliers until February 5.
That’s the colloquial way of putting it. The government described it as a “recess” to allow new ministers to gen up on their new briefs.
Ah lads, pull the other one. Most of the “new” ministers have been ministers before. What have ye all been at for the past two months since the election? Twiddling your thumbs? Eating maltesers? Looking in the admiring mirror?
Two months of doing nothing, followed by two more weeks of doing nothing, while the country suffers is not a great look, not a fantastic start to a new administration.
It’d be funny if it weren’t so bloody serious.
Those who can do, those who can’t sit in the Dail, I suppose.
They’ll have five years in power, but time is not on their side. There are so many things that need fixing post-haste. Are they capable of stepping up to the mark?
Well, both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail have shown an inability to get much done over successive administrations. That’s an understatement.
Building stuff — the MOST important thing if our economy is to thrive, if our people are to be happy — isn’t in their DNA.
It’s hard to see how things are suddenly going to change.
They need to prove the sceptics wrong, if we’re to advance as a First World nation and stop being held back by our third world public services and infrastructure. That’s the acid test for this government.
The farce of its birth these past two months will be forgotten, if they can get the finger out. No more endlessly talking about the grandiose plans.
The guillotine must fall on expert forums and task (arse) forces. Endless public consultations need to be confined to the dustbin of bad planning history. Vital public infrastructure – houses, hospitals, schools, railway lines, roads, ports, offshore wind farms (we have enough unharnessed wind energy off the west coast to power ALL of western Europe) must bypass laborious and costly planning process. Fat chance.
A minister for Infrastructure is needed, with executive power (like Trump) to do all that’s required in the shortest time frame possible.
There won’t be one of course. That’d be too damn obvious.
This government, and the manner of its coming together (thanks to Michael Lowry) was grubby. It resembles administrations of old, where sleeven, parish-pump nod and a wink politics ruled supreme.
Optimism helps you live longer, but it’s hard to see how this government succeeds where all others have failed. Looks like we’re doomed to five more years of inertia.
KEEPING WELL-FARE
THE celebs on DWTS, co-hosted by Doireann Garrihy are getting a welfare officer to keep an eye on them in the wake of bullying allegations on Strictly. Bless.
What has the world become? How stressful can it be to prance around a stage, week in, week out?
DONALDWASTES NO TIME
DONALD TRUMP 2.0 is a different, more unpredictable beast to his previous incarnation as President.
Within hours of being sworn in on Monday afternoon, he was signing sweeping executive orders to, among others, end federal diversity and inclusion efforts and force the use of man or woman when describing biological sex; declare an emergency on the Mexican border and use the military to secure the frontier; enact trade tariffs on Mexico, Canada and China (and explore extending them to Europe); end birthright citizenship for babies born to undocumented migrants; expel migrants with criminal convictions; end remote working for all federal employees; withdraw from the Paris Climate Agreement; reverse the ban of Tik Tok (for 75 days); rename the Gulf Of Mexico, the Gulf of America and withdraw from the World Health Organisation.
Aside from those, Trump also pardoned as many as 1,500 MAGA supporters who stormed the Capitol on January 6, 2021. Among them were the leader of the Oath Keepers militia, Elmer Rhodes III and Proud Boys militia leader, Enrique Tarrio, both of whom had been sentenced to 18 and 22 years respectively.
The sweeping pardons for the “January 6 hostages”, as Trump called them, came despite only 34 per cent of Americans supporting such a move in a poll by Monmouth University in New Jersey.
Last week, Trump’s pick for Attorney General, Pam Bondi, told US senators he wouldn’t pardon the Jan 6 rioters, adding: “The President does not like people that abuse police officers.”
And Mike Johnson, the Republican speaker of the House of Representatives, gave assurances Trump would not pardon what he called “violent criminals”.
Well, Trump made them all look like fools, didn’t he?
He’s a one-man wrecking ball, intent on upending American democracy. The only saving grace is that he cannot be re-elected to the White House again.
But the damage he does over the next four years will take a generation to undo.
IT'S MAN DIVIDED
WHO’D be a Man United fan these days? Lovers of chaos?
Manager Ruben Amorim, barely in the job, seems to be wishing he’d never taken the role. After they were thumped AGAIN, 1-3 at home by Brighton, he publicly castigated them, saying they were “the worst team maybe in the history of Manchester United”.
Yikes. What a thing for a manager to say. His mega rich stars won’t take the public dressing down. How are they expected to play for Amorim going forward?
United’s problems are many. Off the field, Old Trafford is plagued with financial problems and poor governance. Amorim’s days are surely numbered.
But who in their right mind would take over?
BOOZERS IN REAL TROUBLE
IRELAND’S boozers are dying. The price of the pint is the chief culprit, of course.
Diageo, the makers of Guinness and distributors of other beers, such as Hop House 13, Harp (who drinks that!), Carlsberg and Smithwicks are yet again putting up the price of drink.
The extra dough they lash on their kegs means a publican has no choice but to slap another 20 to 30 cent on the price of the pints they sell.
That’ll bring the average price of a pint in Dublin to OVER €7 (€11 in Temple Bar). Outside the capital, the cost of a sup will soar to over €6 in many areas.
Ten years ago, the average price of a pint in Dublin was €5.10. Outside the capital, you forked out on average, €4.30. Many charged much less.
It’s a hell of a jump in the space of ten years, you’d agree.
Unsustainable, if you’re a pub owner.
Costs are already high for publicans. And if the wholesale price of booze keeps on rising every few months, it won’t be long before the traditional pub becomes extinct.
Already, boozers are empty for the most part during the week. And even on weekends, they are sparsely populated.
Talking to pub owners, they say more and more people are drinking at home. What began as necessity during the pandemic is now de rigueur.
You can hardly blame people. Venture out now for three pints and you’re spending over €20.
We’re killing one of the nation’s cultural bedrocks through collective greed.